Category Archives: Newburyport

The city of Newburyport, MA, the small, coastal city in Essex County, Massachusetts, United States, 35 miles northeast of Boston.

Gluten Free Power Bar with Almond Meal

Really fast, unbelievably easy to make, gluten free power bar and variations.

1 1/2 T  sugar
1 T  water
1/4 t  vanilla
2 T  peanut butter
2 pinches of salt
Shake of cinnamon and nutmeg (or pumpkin spice),optional.

Microwaved in a bowl for 30 seconds until sugar and water and vanilla dissolve, stir mixture until blended.

1/3 Cup almond meal (I use Bob’s Red Mill)
3 T Mini Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Morsels

Stir in almond meal until a paste, while warm stir in mini chocolate morsels.
Form into bars on parchment paper and refrigerate until hard. Can be 3 small bars, 2 medium bars or 1 large bar.

Wrap bars in Saran Wrap and refrigerate (can also freeze).

All sorts of variations are possible. Use less almond meal and add chopped nuts, dried fruit, coconut.  Could also substitute peanut butter with almond butter or other nut butters.

Newburyport Schools are Doing Awesome-Congratulations

From today’s Newburyport Daily News

Newburyport Leads Local Schools in MCAS Results

“The state released the results of the Spring 2013 MCAS, and once again local schools outperformed the state average in nearly every category, with Newburyport leading the way.

Overall, Newburyport had the highest scores across all grade levels and subjects in the region…”

Congratulations to all our wonderful teachers. The complete story can be read here.

Not Qualified to be Mayor

As I recall, in the 2001 election, people voted for Al Lavender, as a reaction against Mayor Lisa Mead (not a “for” Al Lavender vote). I thought Lisa Mead was an incredibly competent mayor. And I feel that we are still recovering from the consequences of two years of Al Lavender’s tenure in the corner office (we are still cleaning up the landfill, which has caused untold misery–something that came out of Al Lavender’s two year term).

I would like a smart, well educated (more than a high school education), competent person, who can deal with an array of complex issues, in the corner office for the next four years, someone with a lot of executive experience (this is one complicated city to run) (a retired firefighter and a Home Depot greeter does not do it for me).

I think firefighters are incredible people, unbelievably brave, but with a skill set that, in my mind, does not translate into dealing with the incredibly complex issues that the Mayor of Newburyport deals with.

I would surely like to see the electorate vote with their intelligence, instead of reacting emotionally, and to see this not just as a one issue election (i.e. the Waterfront).

And I also think, given his resume, that if Dick Sullivan didn’t have the last name “Sullivan,” no one would take his candidacy seriously for being the CEO of this complicated city.

Miss Manners has a Few Things to Say on her Facebook Page

Miss Manners, moi, has a few things to say on her Facebook page.

The tone of this election season (don’t even get me started about an illegal, destructive and anonymous flyer and robo-call that happened this weekend) has been so off the charts, that I sat and thought long and hard before putting up the most recent Facebook post about the NRA and the Waterfront. How to make it so that there wasn’t a collective meltdown, uncouth, brawl. Passion about issues is one thing, complete un-civility on the part of the electorate is quite another. It can happen other places, but not on my Facebook page.

And as for setting a “tone” for the upcoming election, the “male” who survived the mayoral primary, has, in my books, done one lousy job. Maybe “chivalry,” in this day an age, is way too much to ask for, even, apparently, in a local election. And I guess being a “gentleman” would be completely out of the question. But being that “uncouth,” as someone who would like to be the leader of Newburyport, our small New England city–you have got to be kidding me.

To show up at a press conference, that one would suppose to have been agreed upon, a press conference that was, I thought, supposed to be about denouncing the underhanded, destructive, anonymous and illegal political tactics that took place over the weekend. To then say that the press conference didn’t seem necessary, and use the opportunity to bash one’s opponent… if I was mayoral candidate Dick Sullivan’s mother, I would have taken him by the ear, not caring how old either one of us might be, and given him a good whoop’n.

Some of the candidates this electoral season have set a tone of “classiness.” Mayoral candidate Dick Sullivan, has not been one of them.

I digress.

So what do I, the editor of The Newburyport Blog, do about setting some boundaries on The Newburyport Blog’s Facebook page?

As of this morning a “comment policy” is now in place:

“If you do choose to comment on the Newburyport Blog’s Facebook page, please be civil, polite (which could be perceived as a radical concept), and constructive, otherwise your comment will be deleted (even if it slightly crosses the line) and you will be banned (something I really would not like to do); you may (or may not) get a “warning” if I feel that “banning” from this Facebook page is warranted. (How about that for a disclaimer!!) Mary Baker Eaton, Editor of The Newburyport Blog.

(One of the ways to make your comment “polite,” is to use “I,” as in “I feel that this would….” instead of “You,” as in, “You are…” or to have no preposition at all, which can come across as not being “polite.” )”

And I, Miss Manners, mean it.

Newburyport Primary 2013 Election Results

Newburyport Primary Election results:

Mayor–Holaday and Sullivan

Ward 2–Eigerman and Welch

Ward 4–Tontar and Jones

Newburyport Primary Election Results (press image to enlarge)

Newburyport Primary Election Results (press image to enlarge)

Holaday 36.02%
Sullivan 32.63%
Earls 31.35%

(Newburyport City Councilor Ed Cameron’s Math)

Comparison of the NRA Waterfront Plans

A comparison of the NRA Waterfront plans.

First Draft – September 2012, Second Draft – June 2013.

A comparison of the NRA Waterfront plans. (Press image to enlarge.)

A comparison of the NRA Waterfront plans. (Press image to enlarge.)

Citizens for an Open Waterfront’s (COW) alternative plan – April 2013 (flipped vertically so that it is easier to compare to the proposed NRA plan).

Citizen's for an Open Waterfront's (COW) alternative plan

Citizens for an Open Waterfront's (COW) alternative plan

We Didn’t Have the Green Thing Back Then

I pissed off a lot of people with the “Please Leave My Plastic Bags Alone” post.  I was even asked not to write anything more about the subject (democracy, free speech anyone??), so, at least for now, technically I won’t.

This has been making the rounds on the internet for months and months and months (the source unfortunately is unknown – wish I knew!!), so if you haven’t seen it…

We Didn’t Have the Green Thing Back Then

“Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.” The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

Milk Bottles, Courtesy of the Library of Congress

Milk Bottles, Courtesy of the Library of Congress

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But too bad we didn’t do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?”

Please Leave My Plastic Bags Alone

There is stuff afoot that would have our Newburyport City Government pass legislation banning plastic bags.  I’m not for this.

Yesterday I emailed the Mayor and the Newburyport City Councilors.  The email was pretty simple:

“Dear Mayor Holaday and Newburyport City Councilors,

Please leave my plastic bags alone.  I recycle and reuse faithfully. (And I fully understand the arguments for this anti-platic bag piece of potential legislation.)  (I also don’t like being lectured to, in places like the supermarket, by folks who feel differently than I do.)”

I also sent in the questionnaire, basically about how I would like legislation passed banning plastic bags, that came with the recent recycling information.  Since there was nothing about recycling and reusing plastic bags, I crossed the entire questionnaire out with a big  X and wrote, “Please leave my plastic bags alone.”  I think I also wrote something about being displeased about being lectured to at the supermarket.

So far I’ve been polite when being lectured to at the supermarket, because I think, “Is it worth alienating this acquaintance who I like very much?”  But since they are alienating moi, next time, I may very well lose it.

And I thought I was alone in my dislike of this potential piece of legislation, but apparently not so.  I’ve been surprised how many folks feel the same way I do. So if you are one of those folks, and are feeling energetic, you can find the information on the City of Newburyport’s website on how to contact the Mayor and the Newburyport City Council.

The City’s website is here.http://www.cityofnewburyport.com/

Email information for the City Councilors is here:http://www.cityofnewburyport.com/Clerk/WEB/pages/city_council.html

The information on how to contact the Mayor is here: http://www.cityofnewburyport.com/mayor.html

Recycling plastic bags

Recycling plastic bags

Now that I’ve written this, I may now get lectured to on the street.  I hope not.  And for those who may feel tempted, education, yes, lecture – no, and even require information on the plastic bags themselves about not letting them float away into the environment, but recycle and reuse.

The container to recycle plastic bags can be found at your grocery store.

Patina, Newburyport and the Soul of the City

Definition of Patina:

“A surface appearance of something grown beautiful especially with age or use.” Merriam-Webster

If you ever watch anything on TV that has to do with old stuff, from the tonier PBS “Antiques Road Show,” to the newer “Pawn Stars” on the History Channel, something old would be brought in, and if it has been refinished, and the original finish has been removed, whether it’s an old gun, a coin or an old piece of furniture, the value of that piece, whatever it might be, would be greatly, greatly diminished.

Same thing with small historic seacoast New England cities, i.e. Newburyport.

When I moved her over 30 years ago, Newburyport had a whole lot of soul and patina. I loved walking down the street and feel the stories behind the homes that I would walk past.

Lately, I’ve heard people use the word “slummy,” even for existing parts of Newburyport.  Yes, really – “slummy.”

Slummy seems to be the new word for anything that hasn’t been torn down, or torn apart and is looking shiny and new.

What I would call “patina” in Newburyport, is now being rebranded as “slummy.”

An historic home, one that is 75 years old, or in Newburyport’s case much, much older, that has been lovingly restored, retains its soul, its patina.  An historic property in Newburyport that has been torn down, or ripped apart so that almost nothing exists, that property, has not only lost its patina, its soul is gone as well, and in my mind, no offense or anything, so has its value, in this particular place, Newburyport, Massachusetts.

A home that has been decimated here and there in Newburyport, Newburyport’s soul and patina still exists.  Keep adding to those homes that have been decimated and the soul of the city gradually disappears, and nope, it cannot be regained.

There are many keepers of the Newburyport’s soul in this city.  And one of those entities that are entrusted with its soul is our Historical Commission (not the Historical Society, two completely different entities).

And back, quite a while ago, when things were really beginning to be decimated, the city, the Historical Commission and the Newburyport City Council, put Newburyport’s Demo Delay in place.  It was a way to get people to stop for a little while, have a discussion about their small piece of the soul of the city.  And the Historical Commission could enact a time period, at the moment it is one year, to delay demolition, and to explore options, and hopefully retain that part of the city’s soul. Or not, the owner or developer could tear down the structure at the end of the demo delay, if they chose to, and at that time the city’s building inspector would issue the appropriate permits.

What is so destructive about the new Demo Delay Ordinance proposed by City Councilor Bob Cronin, and co-sponsored by City Councilor Dick Sullivan, who is also running for mayor, is that the ordinance focuses on structural choices, giving the building inspector say over what gets demolished, and what does not.  The proposed ordinance does not focus on the soul of the city.  And that soul, that patina, is why so many of us come to Newburyport to live, visit, work and play.

Weird Demo Delay Tweak

Newburyport City Councilor Bob Cronin has submitted a “tweaked” Demo Delay Ordinance to the Newburyport City Council this Tuesday, and for me, it’s a real head-scratcher – and that’s being polite.

While it clarifies the ordinance, it also appears to give the decision making power about whether an historic structure should be demolished, as I read it,  to the building inspector?? rather than the Newburyport City Council appointed Historical Commission, the folks who have and should always make that determination. Yikes!!

Puzzling, weird, what????

It also keeps the Demo Delay at 12 months instead of bumping it up to 18 months, which is what I heard the Newburyport City Council previously agree to (unfortunately the Newburyport City Council could not muster up  enough votes for even a 2 year Demo Delay, which would help this historic city, which is quickly losing its historic character, a lot!!).

I am pretty sure this is not what Councilor Ives had in mind when the discussion took place a few months ago, before she left, which was co-sponsored by Councilor Cronin.

And no one from the Historical Commission was ever consulted?? Weird, odd, puzzling??

“Disappointment” in this odd ordinance tweak, doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Brick and Tree dissects why this proposed ordinance by City Councilor Bob Cronin is so destructive for Newburyport here.

Newburyport Facebook Pages

The Newburyport Police Department has a terrific and helpful Facebook page. It’s public, so if you are not on Facebook you can still check it out. You can leave comments and concerns, and the Newburyport Police Department responds. It gives a wonderful human face to the people that serve Newburyport. You can find it here.

Here is a photo that they posted explaining why the parking ban was in effect. The picture explains it all.

From the Newburyport Police Department's Facebook page - why there was a parking ban

From the Newburyport Police Department's Facebook page - why there was a parking ban

And there may not be a lot of posts on the Newburyport Posts’ blog lately, but Tom Salemi is posting on the Newburyport Posts’ Facebook page with his usual humor, concern, wit and helpful information. The Facebook page, which is public, can be found here.

The Newburyport Blog’s Facebook page can be found here.

Kathleen O’Connor Ives’ First Month as State Senator

Senator O'Connor Ives with her staff

Senator O'Connor Ives with her staff

Senator Kathleen O’Connor Ives with her staff at the Massachusetts State House.  From right to left:
Maria Syrniotis – Deputy Chief of Staff, Legislative Director
Chris Power – Scheduler
Hailey Klein – Chief of Staff
State Senator Kathleen O’Connor Ives
Michael Gallant – Constituent Services Coordinator
Dennis Marcelo – District Director

Senator O'Connor Ives with Mike Costello

Senator O'Connor Ives with Mike Costello

With State Representative for the First Essex District, Mike Costello, at the Massachusetts State House.

Senator O'Connor Ives at the State House

Senator O'Connor Ives at the State House

Senator O’Connor Ives in the Massachussetts State House Senate Chamber.

Senator O'Connor Ives Haverhill Office Hours

Senator O'Connor Ives Haverhill Office Hours

Senator O’Connor Ives first Office Hours at the Haverhill Public Library on Friday, January 18. Office hours will be held in every city and town in the First Essex District.

Senator Kathleen O'Connor Ives at the MLK Breakfast

Senator Kathleen O'Connor Ives at the MLK Breakfast

With Nancy Earls at the Martin Luther King Breakfast where Nancy was honored with the YWCA 2013 Peace Award.  The article can be read here.

The Massachusetts State House

The Massachusetts State House

The Massachusetts State House.

You can visit State Senator Kathleen O’Connor Ives Facebook page here.

(Photographs used with permission, from Senator Kathleen O’Connor Ives’ Facebook page.)

Bushee Estate Demolished for a Subdivision

The Bushee estate on Newman Road has been demolished for a subdivision.  That’s a “Yikes.”

The home that carried her ( Florence E. Bushee) name boasted a twin chimney 2 1/2-story colonial with 13 rooms and eight open fireplaces, ornamental gardens, a carriage house, a post and beam cow barn and multi-stall horse barn.”  Newburyport Daily News, January 25, 2102

The entire article can be read here (it’s worth reading!!).

Kathleen O’Connor Ives Sworn in as State Senator

Kathleen O'Connor Ives being sworn in as State Senator

Kathleen O'Connor Ives being sworn in as State Senator

Kathleen O’Connor Ives was sworn in as our new First Essex District State Senator for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts on Wednesday, January 2, 2013.

Senator O’Connor Ives contact information:

State House
Room 74
Boston, MA 02133
617-722-1604
Kathleen.O’ConnorIves@masenate.gov

Hailey Klein – Chief of Staff
Maria Syrniotis – Deputy Chief of Staff, Legislative Director
Dennis Marcelo – District Director
Michael Gallant – Constituent Services Coordinator
Chris Power – Scheduler

Nesting, Mother’s Nest, Newly Married Nesting, Empty-Nest

In my new fascination with my burgeoning photoshop project (I am mulling an actual name), I am curious about the images that I choose.

The latest image is from someone who, at this point I know only as “katmystiry.”  I have emailed “katmystiry,” and maybe I will know more about whoever this might be, but at the moment it is just an anonymous username and a “mystery.”

The image that I photoshoped away at is of a robin nesting.

robin-sm

Photoshop Robin Nesting, thanks katmystiry

The first thing that comes to mind is part of a poem that my wonderful son wrote way back in May of 2006, which I keep over my desk.

“i look under my bed
and see hundreds of feathers
i am content in my mother’s nest”

When I asked my son how he came about this incredibly moving for moi poetic tidbit, he told me, in college at the time, that he had a feather pillow that leaked, and literally there were hundreds of feathers when he looked under his bead.

And this year, lo 6 year later, my son got married.  And as I marvel at these lovely newlyweds, I think about them “nesting,” and am glad that my son is now so content in his newly married nest.

And then there is the empty-nest thing.

And then I wonder what a “back-story” could be on this photoshoped robin sitting on her photoshop nest.  I remember being a new mom, feeding my son in the very early hours of the morning, wondering if there were other moms out there like me, sitting  alone with their child in the dark.  And to me, this robin reminds me of those nights so many years and decades long ago.

Mold Quandary or the Exploding (Gluten Free) Baked Potato

I walk into my house and I sniff – mold??  I may now be a spider slayer (see earlier entry), but I can be as neurotic (this is a New York City term) as Woodie Allen.

I go down into the basement. Sniff, sniff. Basement smell, but not the same smell.

The odd, apparently or hopefully, not mold smell comes and goes. Who knows.

Potato

Potato

(I’m going circular now….) Over the last 3 years and some months, since Black Friday, the Celiac, you must now go on a gluten-free diet from hell, friday, I have become a big fan of baked potatoes.  They are absolutely gluten free, plus they are wicked good for you, who knew.  Chock full of all sorts of amazing nutrients. 48% Vitamin C, 18% Iron, really. And let’s not forget both Potassium and Vitamin B6 at an amazing 46%, if you don’t believe me, read all about it here.

The amazing baked potato, good for breakfast, lunch and dinner in all sorts of concoctions, instead of awful gluten free bread, or full of gluten bread.

So for 3 years and how many months, every night, I bake at least 2 potatoes, and use them in all sorts of ways the next day.

(For you gluten-free folks out there in web-land, I am now visiting the Newburyport Blog for some reason, land – a potato baked at 350 degrees for an hour and a half (i.e. fairly slowly) and then cooled, can be used for all sorts of things, including potato salad, much better, and easier, than boiling.  An odd tip I’ve learned, who knew?)

Before baking a potato, it is necessary to pierce them or it with a fork or a sharp knife, lest they or it explode.  And over the 3 years plus how many months, I’ve watched the pierced potato parts leak and dribble onto my oven floor. Not being a super duper oven cleaner, I’ve never much cared.

But an “ah ha,” eureka moment.  The other day, an apparently un-pierced baking potato exploded, and that weird smell (see, I told you I’d get around to it), well, it was like that weird smell, the not the basement maybe, oh dear, mold smell, but  “the” odd smell, on steroids.

So, I am relieved.  Odd, but probably not terribly dangerous smell explained. A wet paper towel, or a lot of wet paper towels, scrubbed against the bottom of the oven, seems to alleviate the long sniff quandary. And I will now need to find something else innocuous, but perplexing enough to obsess about, to take the place of the great exploding baked potato whiff enigma.

Baby It’s Cold Outside and Cafe au Lait

Pretty fancy, huh, “Cafe au Lait?”  But really, cafe au lait.

Snowblower

Snowblower

So today we actually get snow. I feel we are blessed, because at least at my house, there is only the 3 of the 5 inches promised, and my wonderful neighbor appears in my driveway with their snowblower.  I have named this wonderful beast (the snowblower, not my neighbor), “Horatio Horn Blower.”  Neither my neighbors nor Horatio seem to mind the moniker.  I was told last night that Horatio, waiting patiently in the shed all summer, was in very good spirits, and in working order. This made me happy.

However, even with Horatio’s heroic undertakings “vis-a-vis” (getting very “european” today) my driveway, there is still shoveling to be done.  And I am glad that it is only 3 inches, because I am not in winter shoveling shape.

I come in out of not being in snow shoveling shape, after an hour or so of cleaning up my dwelling, from snow and ice, with my trusty, at least, 10 year old, ground down, well loved, in need of a replacement, snow shovel.

And I’m starving and want something warm and yummy to drink, but have no hot cocoa in the house, and do not want to go out in search of any.

One cup coffee maker

One cup coffee maker

And my mind wanders back to my mother, and a trip she and my father took me on to France at the impressionable age of somewhere around 14.  I vaguely remember drinking something warm and yummy and very grownup, at the time, called “Cafe au Lait.”

And I bless the World Wide Web and its recipe making capabilities.

I get out my way older than my ancient shovel, one person Melitta one cup coffee brewer, make a strong half cup of coffee with cinnamon and nutmeg added to the grounds (feeling very creative here), fill the rest with milk and a little vanilla extract, and nuke the whole thing in the microwave.

coffee or in this case "Cafe au Lait"

coffee or in this case "Cafe au Lait"

My mother and father’s sprits seem to fill the room, as if I am suddenly 14 and in France with them again, and it is a good feeling, plus my spur of the moment cafe au lait tastes awesome.

And then on the World Wide Web, I find a year’s wrap-up by one of my favorite writers, Dave Barry.  It is good to laugh and to have things put into perspective, drink cafe au lait with such fond memories of my Mom and Dad.  And Dave Barry’s awesome year end “wrap-up” can be found here.  (I’m thinking that “WHAP” may make its way to the Newburyport Blog – you gotta read Dave Barry.)

Plagiarism – Photoshop Take Off

Photoshop Flight

Photoshop Flight

I never, ever would have considered using other people’s images that are in the public domain in my art work, it would be plagiarism for me.  Plagiarism – I would have felt it to be “immoral,” “originality” the only acceptable device. But blogging, doing content for people’s websites, the World Wide Web has radically and slowly changed my whole idea of how to use images. Before starting the Newburyport Blog I never knew about stuff/images that are in the “public domain.”  I now bless the public domain, it makes what I do here and what other people do all across the web a whole lot more interesting. So why not use images that are in the public domain in my own art work? These are images I could never take, either because they are in a geographical location that I would never get to, or with equipment I would never buy.

Photoshop Bird 3 (thanks Bobby)

Photoshop Bird 3 (thanks Bobby)

And photoshop (see earlier entry on fine art, painting in particular, going the way of the buggy whip and typewriter), what one can do in photoshop in a few minutes would take me years to do as a painter. It’s irresistible. So I’ve started experimenting. And how fun!! Like being in a candy store for this artist.  A photoshop take off, a lovely New Year’s present for moi.